I got home from Tagaytay last night violently. The epic (and lethal) traffic from Star Toll up to SLEX was enough to drive someone mad - and that included my dad.
"... and good old boys were drinking whiskey and wine, singing this will be the day that I die, THIS WILL BE THE DAY THAT I DIE!!!"
Never drink and drive! Tell that to your drivers!!!
Madonna's version of American Pie was playing over the stereo when road maniac's soul possessed my dad to ILLEGALLY and UNSAFELY drive over the grassy/rocky/muddy part of the road - the one that separates the North bound from the South bound.
"ARGH!!! Hindi Land Cruiser dala mo! STOP!!!"
You can't imagine the mental torture I experienced. "He'll be caught and there's no one to drive us home. Wait! I can drive. If someone sees me! What if the tires go flat? Do we have enough money to bribe? (joke!) I cannot die wearing a shirt from the Kid's section of Zara. It's so not fabulous!"
Well, he wasn't the first one to do it. There were also fresh tracks from fucked up drivers who want to cheat traffic and speed up their travel time. He just mindlessly followed.
After passing around twenty five cars, he tried to join the rest of the civilized drivers.
We stopped at the nearest gas station and found out that my dad cannot control his pee anymore so he needed to relieve himself as quickly as possible.
Maniac driving justified.
Suggestion: Aside from the lanes dedicated to Overtaking, Slow cars, Trucks/Buses and Shoulder, they should add "Need of Immediate Bladder Relief." It would be very helpful.