I think I'm spreading myself too thin over a variety of projects that I end up disappointing some of the people whom I work with because I tend to forget things or do mediocre on the tasks that needs to be done. It's not my fault if I give my best and it still falls short of people's expectations, but it's a different level if after what has been done, I have that feeling of "I could have done better."
Over the years, I've also learned how to handle criticisms, almost on a weekly basis because of what I write, say or do. It's a choice that we took. It's different when your boss is the only one criticizing you, but when the public sees your actions and intentions, the scale becomes big and the situation is usually more uncontrollable if you commit even the most minor mistakes. Freedom of speech might have given the people license to say what they think even though most of the time it's baseless. I suddenly feel more misunderstood.
Between disappointing someone and being criticized, which one hurts more? For me it's disappointing someone. Usually, criticisms are focused on what you do, while the disappointments deals with what you do to others.
I've been bruised by criticisms and the feeling of disappointing others since Monday. Too much psycho torture, especially for someone like me who borders on the productive kind of insecurity. I just hope we can fast forward to the long weekend when I'll be taking a retreat. I still want to do a million things and this left me breathless. Maybe I need to take some time, relax and breath once in a while.
Dare to move!