Who am I even kidding? While one of my superiors was tutoring me on foreign trade policies, I found myself spacing out, thinking of the pictures I saw last night of my block mate's experiences while they were in Europe studying for a term. It hit me so hard that my real passion has always been in foreign relations - experiencing different cultures, participating in dialogues on international issues and coming up with solutions for social development.
A few days ago, Rex gave a talk on the importance of having a goal, and while he was sharing how his goal kept him from quitting, I kept asking myself why the hell I'm in a bank. I feel so lost. Pretending that I'm doing this because I want to save money for my bamboo farm and the relaunch of our online magazine will just be fatal in the long run. The only one that I'm lying to is myself.
Dondie gave a concrete advice while we were hanging out in Cantina a few months ago - I should take the foreign service examination because I'm more fit to work in a diplomatic office or an international NGO. Sometimes, you need these kinds of friends to warn you if you're heading towards the wrong direction. They'll steer you to the right path.
Looking back, my dreams of traveling and studying in Europe was killed when I learned that my grades weren't enough to qualify for the junior term abroad program of our school. What's the use of crying over spilled milk? This just may be one of those few instances where I want to make a move to really pursue what I've always wanted.
After lunch, I texted the HR of Red Cross to check on my application for the Reporting Officer position which will allow me to train in Switzerland for 3 months. I also called my meditation teacher to ask for her advice and if she knows any opportunity where I can study or work in Europe. Right now, I'm just hoping for the best.
If all else fails, I'll buy a ticket to Amsterdam, find a lover, elope and never look back! Haha! Crossing my fingers.